Our eyes have seen His glory

Adoption is not for the faint of heart.

Because, well, it's just HARD. Pretty much all of it.

I've had a hard time trying to write about the adoption process and Evie Ruth's birth.
I'm not sure anything could have been more bittersweet. I still don't know how a human being has the capacity to experience that much joy and that much pain all at the same time. And then there are just so many parts of this story that simply belong to Evie Ruth. They are hers to share or keep, not mine.

The whole process has seriously reminded me of "Frogger" at times...
That is, if I was the frog and if the setting was downtown Manhattan at rush hour.
And if the frog was one legged and cross eyed.
And maybe a little bit drunk.
(Coincidentally, that's pretty much how my frog always behaved in the actual game. User error? I've always preferred to think it was a malfunction in the game)

So yeah.... it's hard. And I've struggled with what I should share. Especially since amazing, deep, holy things aren't exactly my forte. I'm much more comfortable in the land of "safe" topics and sarcastic humor. Haven't quite figured out the best way to say, "Hi! How's work going? Oh and by the way, you wouldn't believe what God did for me". Perhaps it's my segue that needs help.
I'm working on it.

But seriously, the things that He's done for us!

In this adoption process God has shown Himself to us.
He has made His glory known.
His Holy Spirit guided us.
He provided for us in every way.
He carried us through.

Pretty sure that's not something I should keep to myself. Shouting it from the rooftops would really be much more appropriate.

God guided us past our own plans and desires for our lives, and gently showed us part of a different plan - His plan. I have to be honest, we weren't reaaaally so much on board at first. We were mostly good with our plan. Perhaps because, oh I don't know, it was what we wanted to do.
But He's so gracious, He just kept pushing. He led us through our doubt. Doubts about if this was truly His will for our lives, then doubts about money, and then doubts about domestic adoption. He blessed our efforts to find a way to pay the adoption fees. He held us up through a year of botched paperwork, delays, setbacks, and so much frustration. He led us through our own hesitation. He guided us through the process of forming a relationship with ER's birthmom. His love cast out our fear, and He gave us peace, overwhelming peace, while we waited in the hospital with a precious baby we loved - but who wasn't ours yet. He surrounded us with support while we waited to come home.

He stretched us beyond where we thought we could go. We saw our own ragged, tattered, dirty, worthless selves, and then He reminded us that He makes us new. He changed our hearts. He drew us closer, and He allowed us to see Him more clearly.

He is so gracious, our God!
Through one chubby, precious, wiggly, opinionated, adorable curly-headed baby girl - He has given us a glimpse of His glory.

My heart is so grateful we didn't miss the chance.

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